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Writer's pictureJubida Begum

Loneliness, isolation, and sorrow: A Muslim convert’s Ramadan

Updated: Mar 25, 2022


Woman sitting alone during prayer - Photo by: Meruyert Gonullu

As the month of Ramadan approaches on 2 April, we explore the feeling of isolation that some Muslim converts or reverts experience during the holy month of fasting and prayer, and what is being done to help them.

 

Revert or convert?

Many people who convert to the religion of Islam often refer to themselves as ‘reverts’. The religion states that every single person is born a Muslim, but humans have free will to change this as they get older. Therefore, when a person converts to the religion of Islam, they call themselves reverts, as they believe this is the religion they originate from and have now returned to. This article will be using both words interchangeably.

 

When Rebecca Green observed her first Ramadan as a Muslim revert in a Christian household, her family did not understand why she was fasting. Eating suhoor (the pre-dawn meal) alone has always been a norm in the eight years of her Islamic life.


“Christmas was a big thing when I was growing up, all the family would get together,” says Green, comparing her experience of the two religious holidays. “When it came to Ramadan, I wanted that same feeling.”


Over time, Green’s family opened to her new lifestyle, but this did not stop her from feeling isolated during a month which is meant to bring Muslims together.


A study by Faith Matters found that a lack of network and feelings of isolation were some of the biggest problems faced by Muslim converts in the UK.


During Ramadan, Green believes a convert’s sense of loneliness is amplified when they see other families attending mosques together. “There was a time I went to Eid prayers on my own. I came home and had nowhere to celebrate. It was tough because I had done the month of Ramadan and I didn’t have that celebration with anyone else,” she says.


Working late meant that Green could not attend many community gatherings, yet the ones she did attend helped her celebrate Ramadan. She adds: “The Muslim community is so welcoming. They try their best to make sure everyone is included and that is very humbling and overwhelming at times.”


The Muslim community is so welcoming. They try their best to make sure everyone is included and that is very humbling and overwhelming at times.

Rebecca Green - Photo by: Rebecca Green.

Green launched a YouTube channel in 2020 to discuss her journey as a convert and believes this Ramadan will be a different experience for her. She shares her excitement about her first Ramadan documenting her Islamic life: “I was so nervous posting my first few videos, but it feels like the community has surrounded me, and given me so many prayers and positive comments. Social media has 100% helped in my journey.”


Allia Dahmes also uses social media to interact with reverts and the Muslim community in general and runs the campaign ‘Akhwat of Mercy’ to raise funds for humanitarian relief. Last Ramadan, she set up a charity gift project to provide faith-based gifts to women in the United States who had recently converted to Islam. The boxes contained hijabs, prayer mats, beads, and books to help new Muslims feel welcomed into the blessed month.


A Qur’an and prayer beads - Photo by: RODNAE Production

Dahmes launched the project after reading about reverts online. She says: “I came across reverts who were vocal about their experience [in Ramadan] and how isolating it can be and that hit hard with me. I tried to do my best to reassure them. This project makes sisters out there feel less alone, feel valued, seen and feel special.”


Following last year’s success, Dahmes will be working with an extended team this Ramadan to provide gifts to more than 100 women in America, Canada, and the UK. She hopes to expand the project in the future.


Communities and campaigns like this are important to those like Dahmes and Green to maintain their faith. Green says: “[Ramadan is] a time where it could be make or break in whether [converts] continue their Islamic journey. If you don’t feel supported and are feeling lonely, you’re going to reach out to somewhere else to fill that gap of loneliness.”


[Ramadan is] a time where it could be make or break in whether [converts] continue their Islamic journey. If you don’t feel supported and are feeling lonely, you’re going to reach out to somewhere else to fill that gap of loneliness.

Green believes converts should experience the feeling of the community coming together: “Other Muslims surrounding a revert is important for their mental health. To be able to socialise, be supported or learn things. It really shows a revert what Islam is about,” she says.

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